Aoife, 34, moved into Simon Community’s temporary accommodation at Saintfield Road in July last year after surviving years of domestic violence, addiction, and homelessness.
For eight years, Aoife was in an abusive relationship that was defined by control and manipulation. Her partner dictated every aspect of her life - her money, her movements, even her sleep.
It was the small but terrifying signs that finally made her run. He had started cutting her hair in her sleep. He wouldn’t let her rest.
“When I tried to get sober, every time I was doing well, he didn’t like it. He’d try to drag me down more.”
It wasn’t until a concerned neighbour stopped her one morning and asked, “What are you doing? Are you okay?” that she truly saw what was happening. Later that week before the sun came up, she escaped and found refuge with Women’s Aid.
For the first time in years, she felt safe.
“If you’re in that situation, don’t waste another minute. There’s help out there—Women’s Aid, the PSNI, Simon Community. You don’t have to do it alone.”
Moving to Simon Community’s Saintfield Road service was overwhelming at first. She was nervous, scared, unsure of what was ahead. But the staff at Simon Community welcomed her, without judgement.
“I wasn’t just another number. They actually cared. It wasn’t like other hostels where you’re in and out the door. Here, they worked with me.”
Slowly, she settled in—joining arts and craft sessions, cooking for others, and spending time in the garden.
“There are apple trees out back, and I love making crumbles for everyone. Just small, normal things I never thought I’d have again.”
She bonded deeply with the team of support workers, especially Carly.
“Carly just got me. She never pushed, she just let me come to her. That’s what made all the difference.”
Over the years, Aoife says that addiction took so much from her —her sense of self, her independence, and even members of her family. But she says that sobriety has given her a second chance. She’s been in recovery for 13 months and is now able to focus on rebuilding the relationships that matter most – with her children.
Aoife’s two youngest children now visit with her every fortnight. Her oldest son was adopted and for three years, she didn’t see him. Recently, she had her first visit with him.
“I was sick with nerves, wondering how he’d feel about seeing me. But when I got there, he ran up and gave me the biggest hug. He started crying. ‘I have my tummy mummy and my mummy with me today!’”
She knows the adoption was the right decision.
“It wasn’t for me—it was for him. He has the best life, living on a farm, surrounded by love. That’s what matters.”
As she prepares to move into her own home, she has big dreams—decorating bedrooms for her kids, finishing her beauty course, and simply enjoying life, free from fear. Looking back, she wishes she had left sooner.
“I wasted eight years. Eight years I can’t get back.”
To any woman going through what she did, she has one message:
“You are not alone. Abuse is all about power and control. It’s not your fault. If you want to get out, go for it. There’s help, and there’s hope.
I tell everyone—if you want to change your life, go to Simon Community. They’ll help you do it. They helped me.”
If you or someone you know is facing homelessness, addiction, or domestic violence, support is available. You can reach out to our 24/7 support line at 0800 171 2222 or contact Women’s Aid NI at www.womensaidni.org — whenever you're ready, we're here to help.