Ryleigh

This Is Only One Chapter 

When Ryleigh arrived at Simon Community’s Bangor service, she was facing homelessness and living with alcohol addiction. Over the following months, with support from staff, counselling and by building relationships with the people around her, she began to rebuild her life. Now, more than two and a half years sober, Ryleigh shares her story 

“Where do I begin?” 

I think my journey really began in December 2023, my first day walking through the doors of Simon Community’s Bangor service. I remember it like it was yesterday. I walked in not knowing what to expect, convinced things were going to be awful. Wendy greeted me first, and I remember her taking one look at me and saying: 

“It’s not as bad as you may think.” 

Then I met Karen who became my neighbour. The best way to describe Karen is that she was everyone’s granny. She was warm, welcoming and made people feel safe. 

After my induction, I was left to settle in and honestly, it was one of the hardest moments of my life. I sat in my room and cried, constantly asking myself: 

“How did it get this bad?” 

At the time, I wasn’t just becoming homeless. I was also battling alcohol addiction. 

That brought a different kind of shame. I felt ashamed that alcohol had taken over my life and damaged relationships with my family. I couldn’t forgive myself for it. For those first few weeks, getting through each day felt almost impossible. My entire focus was simply getting from morning to night without drinking. 

The cravings, the withdrawals, the shaking, the pain, it was relentless. There were nights I convinced myself that “just one drink” would take the edge off, but deep down I knew it would never stop at one. Eventually I realised that if I wanted my life back, I had to face the hard part. I had to sit with the cravings, and hope things would slowly get easier. And somehow, they did. 

What made the difference during those early days was the support from the staff in Bangor. They listened to me day and night.  

“They never judged me, never dismissed my feelings and never made me feel like a burden. They helped distract me when things felt unbearable and slowly, Bangor started to feel less frightening.” 

For a long time, I kept myself hidden away. But eventually, I started opening up. 

I began sharing my fears, my feelings and my struggles. It’s impossible to single out just one staff member because every person played a part in helping me rebuild my confidence and start valuing myself again. 

Christmas was especially difficult. 

I tried to return to normality by spending time with family, but being surrounded by alcohol was overwhelming. I realised I couldn’t put myself in situations where drinking was everywhere around me. That was a painful truth to accept. It wasn’t my family I wanted to avoid, it was alcohol. 

Returning to my room after Christmas felt safe. For the first time I started properly engaging with Simon life. I reignited my love of cooking – it helped me build connections with other residents.  

“Slowly, I stopped isolating myself.. 

I became the person talking everyone’s ear off.” 

Then staff asked me to become a volunteer within the drop-in service, a space where people could come together to access support. I helped organise activities and support the running of groups. 

“It might sound small, but for me it meant everything. It gave me a purpose again something I hadn’t felt in a very long time.” 

I became friends with Jackson.  after spending time together through drop-in activities. 

“He made hostel life easier. He made addiction easier. Most importantly, he helped me feel less alone.” 

We used to joke that we were basically the same person him in male form and me in female form. But underneath the joke was something really important, understanding. 

“He showed me what true friendship actually was.” 

As time went on, I was offered the opportunity to attend in-depth counselling through Inspire. Honestly, it terrified me. It meant revisiting parts of my life I had spent years avoiding. Those early counselling sessions were exhausting. I would come back emotionally drained. 

But over time, things started making sense. 

For the first time, I understood that many of the things I had experienced was trauma and that trauma has shaped so many of the decisions I made later in life. It didn’t magically fix everything, but it helped me understand myself with more. 

“And that changed everything. For the first time in my life, things started making sense again.” 

I still struggle with guilt sometimes. Recovery isn’t perfect and healing doesn’t happen overnight. But counselling gave me tools I never had before. 

“For the first time, I started doing things for myself rather than trying to live for everyone else.” 

I also chose to stay in Bangor over Christmas the following year – a decision I knew was right for me. I helped with the cooking, something I genuinely love, and for the first time in a long time, things felt normal again. 

“Not perfect. Just normal. And honestly, that meant everything.” 

One of the biggest moments in my recovery came when Jackson was offered a property. I was unbelievably proud of him because he deserved a place to finally call home, but going back to Bangor afterwards felt strange. Loneliness crept in again. 

Slowly though, I learned how to be comfortable in my own company. I realised I could sit with myself without those intrusive thoughts taking over. That was huge for me. 

“As I write this today, I am two years and six months sober.” 

It hasn’t been easy. Some days still aren’t easy. But I can honestly say Simon Community changed my life. 

“Yes, I did the work, but they were there every step of the way. They listened to me when I needed someone to listen. They gave me support when I felt broken. They reminded me that I still had value, even when I couldn’t see it myself. And for that, I will always be grateful.” 

If there’s one thing I would say to anyone struggling right now, it’s this: 

“Don’t give up. This is only one chapter in your life. It doesn’t define you. It just makes you stronger.”